Expanding right up, We started initially to concentrate on the differences when considering Italy and you will Kosovo with respect to wisdom life, particularly about any of it point. You will find a term that has long been used by Albanian anyone and i also either however listen to. Whenever a son gets partnered, mom and dad and you will family state, “We hitched him.” That will not make feel conceptually, one decides to wed and can it. It isn’t others exactly who opt for your.
I wanted to know by doing this off identifying some thing, thus i decided to discover Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” Inside text, I guess I discovered a response. Within the content, it states that everybody works together with wedding except for the couple. For this reason it makes sense to declare that “i married him.” Because the at the time, every ilies concerned. The couple failed to maintain one thing, they generally don’t actually choose or eg each other.
Times provides altered therefore usually do not learn about circumstances like those any more – at the very least, I really hope perhaps not. But an effective germ of this mindset has actually stayed. The pressure exerted by friends and family requirements you and prospects you to build instance a decision.
Just what features stayed prevalent is the idea of “giving” or “taking” a lady. Right now, female however hear off their families it is best for them to discover ways to perform certain matters home, since when it exit due to their husbands they will not have to browse crappy. Things like cleansing the family, cooking, providing caj (tea) and stuff like that.
The theory that the girl is the object of one’s kid is still there. Something that a dad decides to provide or not. That is what prospects of numerous discover hitched once a short time of knowing each other, since it often goes you to a good women’s dad appears and you will says to the brand new kid to choose what direction to go – get married or prevent – while the his girl is not a model.
The feminine gender is still seen as an item
Increasing right up, In addition noticed that all the stereotypes for which Europeans was indeed described together with applied to us. People started divorcing, luckily. We say that while the We think of the lifetime of a lady, considering in-marriage and maybe even hitched because of the her very own often, locked-up in the home by stereotypical Albanian guy, whom prevents you against venturing out and creating normal personal circumstances. I thought it girl picking out the courage – as a result of a more open area – to exit you to definitely family and you can go back to freedom.
The idea of divorce proceedings almost didn’t occur for all of us, once the girls did not dare to leave the person it married. But I came across that our individuals likewise have people, our some one and additionally get married private get. In a nutshell, we are not much better than anyone else. We’re not perfect and “others” are not the brand new demon.
I’m sure when We marry an Albanian lady, everything you might be marvelous.
Including having been lucky enough to grow up for the an evolved country particularly Italy, being in a position to study and never which have had to live from the combat, I have the massive luck having a couple parents who’ve never helped me become this type of stress. However, I feel they anyhow, because that care grew up in my personal lead lengthy back.
If i wed to help you a low-Albanian girl, just how will my personal mothers be seen? Exactly how can i qualify? Who can started to my house given that a guest if the my wife doesn’t cam Albanian? Have a tendency to she actually happen to be Kosovo? Exactly how can we title our kids? Commonly our children cam Albanian?
