Well, even then approaching her is quite difficult
Not all of this is always an issue but it’s always in my head whenever I try to approach anyone, even when I believe in myself and feel confident.
I’m insecure and girly. I want a girl to approach ME. I don’t want to approach a girl who wants to be chased. I want to be seduced, damn it. Unfortunately those goth girls are often one of the following: unattractive (nothing irks me more than a hideous girl who thinks she’s totally hot), tomboyish (I don’t like the masculine girl look–I like the feminine look), lesbians (bisexual girls don’t count here), sadistic dominatrixes (not being into S&M at all, this doesn’t work for me). and regardless of whether or not they are any of these things, chances are they won’t approach me, they’d probably prefer to approach a guy who pulls off the look better. (See https://datingreviewer.net/cs/american-seznamka/, I can’t do a better job of pulling off the goth look because I can’t stand make up, can’t grow my hair long (trust me, it doesn’t work–I tried), I can’t find any good men’s gothic clothing that I can afford. I do all that I can but it’s just not enough.)
OK, so some of you know that I really want a gothic girlfriend. (Shallow? Certainly. But it’s a bit of an obsession, I’m afraid.)
For me, practically the only way to meet gothic girls is to go to a local gothic/industrial dance club. None are at my school, none are in my neighborhood. This is the only place where I ever see any.
-Because you generally don’t know anything about someone’s personality, then if you decide to approach someone, then you’re approaching them based on asthetics, on how they look, their outfit, their dancing. you approach them because you think they’re hot. Now, this means you don’t know if who you’re talking to is nice or bitchy, but this also means that if the person you approach has a brain then she probably knows that you’re approaching her because you think she’s hot. This opens up a whole ‘nother can of worms because she can look at you and whether or not she wants to bother talking to you (be it with tollerance, ignoring you, or flat-out “go away” rejection), and if, like me, you’re not exactly the best at pulling off the “hot goth guy” look then that means she likely won’t respond as well. I mean, if a really hot girl started talking to me then I know I’d respond much differently than if a girl who I just wasn’t attracted to did. (This whole thing is also just cumbersome for me because I have to be friends with someone to get to know their personality to be all that romantically attracted to them, and I don’t like approaching a girl who might have a wretched personality.)
-Where I live, most of the goth girls are not in my age range. Most of them are obese. Most of them have boyfriends or husbands, too. Filter out the goth girls who are b*****s, idiots, or with seriously ugly faces, and what you get is some seriously slim pickings. Most of the attractive goth girls remotely my age are already taken, walking in with their boyfriends, or at the very least are often busy talking to people already.
I want a girl who IS a chaser
-Let’s say I see an attractive goth girl who seems to be alone. Even though the music isn’t as loud as in many night clubs, it’s still so loud that you have to yell to be heard and repeat everything twice. “Hi there!” “WHAT?” “HI THERE!” “HI?” “NICE MOVES!” “ER, THANK YOU!” “WHAT?” “I SAID THANK YOU.” “OH. OKAY. WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” “WHAT?” “I SAID. NEVER MIND!” Now picture trying to go through this while also trying to not invade personal space, which is difficult given the swively motions of gothic dancing and the fact that you have to lean your head right into someone’s personal space in order to hear or be heard.
