Buying coffee is more of a nice gesture. If your Korean girlfriend doesn’t appreciate or pay for anything at all, maybe you should take this into consideration and think before furthering your relationship.
“Dutch Pay (????)” or splitting the bill is also common later on, but still, men pay more for the dates in Korea.
Some couples open a joint account to save together and use that money to pay for their dates and trips.
An Expat’s Perspective
This aspect of dating in Korea is like 20 years in the past in western countries. Men are expected to pay for most things while women are supposed to let them choose the place and sometimes the dishes. Not everyone in Korea likes this and you can find people more on your wavelength, depending on what you’re looking for.
- It’s not a good sign if a Korean guy doesn’t pay for the meal on the first date.
- It’s not a good sign if a Korean girl doesn’t offer to pay for coffee/dessert on the first date.
“Some (?)” is a relatively new term from 2014 that originates from “something” or “there is something between us” and it’s one of the best parts of Korean dating. It’s the stage when you get to know each other and flirt before committing to a relationship.
The some (?) period ranges from a few days to a month. After that one-month expiration date, it’s not gonna work.
- some-nam (??): A guy you like or have a crush on
- some-nyeo (??): A girl you like or have a crush on
- some-tada (???): A verb that means there’s something going on and you’re getting to know each other in a romantic way. Another expression is: “??? ?? (some-tago isseo)”, which means “I’m seeing someone” or “I’m in a some stage with someone”.
An Expat’s Perspective
The initial dating phase should be light and fun. But, don’t be surprised if your partner ghosts you out of the blue. This is considered a somewhat normal way to end the dating phase in Korea. There are over 10 million people in Seoul and people often have a few irons in the fire so to speak.
How do Koreans start an official relationship?
Unlike western culture where you naturally (or slowly) get into a relationship, Koreans get it done, just like their fast culture of “???? (ppalli ppalli or hurry hurry)”.
Men usually ask women to officially date them by saying “??? (sagwija)” in Korean. It’s called “?? (goback) or confess one’s love”. This confession happens within one month of the “some or ?” stage.
To help you know when to start a serious relationship with a Korean, the signs of a “green light (?????)” are
- Can you have long private calls or friendly conversations on 3 or more topics?
- Can you ask her/him out without rejection for a coffee or meal? Or are they always “busy”?
- Does she/he reply relatively quickly or message you first? Do you keep in touch with her/him at least twice a week via KakaoTalk or phone calls?
- Do you have skinship (Konglish word for intimacy) like holding hands or putting your arm around their shoulder?
BTW, the http://datingreviewer.net/local-hookup/pueblo worst ways to confess your love in Korea are through phone call or text message, while you’re drunk, or in public (especially in a lecture room in front of hundreds of people or in front of someone’s workplace).
An Expat’s Perspective
It’s OK to not follow the local custom here. Koreans watch a lot of western movies and TV shows, so they have an idea that things are different. They won’t expect you to know this part and if they do, you’ll have bigger problems with cultural differences in the future. They’ll generally ask “what’s our relationship?” if they’re interested in dating you.
