I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you
“Joseph is here,” I answered, catching opportunely the roll of his cartwheels up the road; “and Heathcliff will come in with him. ”
Linton, he loses friend, and love, and all!
“Oh, he couldnt overhear me at the door!” said she. “Give me Hareton, while you get the supper, and when it is ready ask me to sup with you. I want to cheat my uncomfortable conscience, and be convinced that Heathcliff has no notion of these things. He has not, has he? He does not know what being in love is!”
“I see no reason that he should not know, as well as you,” I returned; “and if you are his choice, hell be the most unfortunate creature that ever was born! As soon as you become Mrs. Have you considered how youll bear the separation, and how hell bear to be quite deserted in the world? Because, Miss Catherine-”
“He quite deserted! we separated!” she exclaimed, with an accent of indignation. “Who is to separate us, pray? Theyll meet the fate of Milo! Not as long as I live, Ellen: for no mortal creature. Every Linton on the face of the earth might melt into nothing before I could consent to forsake Heathcliff. Oh, thats not what I intend-thats not what I mean! I shouldnt be Mrs. Linton were such a price demanded! Hell be as much visit this page to me as he has been all his lifetime. Edgar must shake off his antipathy, and tolerate him, at least. He will, when he learns my true feelings towards him. Nelly, I see now you think me a selfish wretch; but did it never strike you that if Heathcliff and I married, we should be beggars? whereas, if I marry Linton I can aid Heathcliff to rise, and place him out of my brothers power.”
“With your husbands money, Miss Catherine?” I asked. “Youll find him not so pliable as you calculate upon: and, though Im hardly a judge, I think thats the worst motive youve given yet for being the wife of young Linton.”
“It is not,” retorted she; “it is the best! The others were the satisfaction of my whims: and for Edgars sake, too, to satisfy him. This is for the sake of one who comprehends in his person my feelings to Edgar and myself. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliffs miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, Im well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! Hes always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So dont talk of our separation again: it is impracticable; and-”
She paused, and hid her face in the folds of my gown; but I jerked it forcibly away. I was out of patience with her folly!
