All of her life, it has been two against one, and when my mother in law was living (passed 2004) it was three against one. Now, as an adult, my daughter is dependant on us, and primarily her father for support, entertainment and etc. She doesn’t have a life and usually tags with us when we go out for entertainment, dinner, camping and etc. She is darling, but, has never had a date. My husband and I can’t be a couple. He always invites her to go almost everywhere with us. When I try to explain how this is hurting me, he gets so defensive. He’s even come back to me and said “if you didn’t want her, you shouldn’t have had her” which was so hurtful. She is in our conversations and business. If I say anything at all to her she doesn’t like, he defends her and jumps all over me. I make a e as my husband, so I can be independant. I just don’t want to have to give up my home I’ve worked all my life for but I’m so emotionally drained and feel so neglected. Our daughter relys on her father more than he relys on her.
I found I could do nearly anything I wanted with #1 but #2 was “hands off my baby”
Has anyone had a problem similar? I’ve tried marriage counseling – and he just keeps going right back. She won’t back off. I feel like I just can’t win and don’t know what to do to fix it. Any ideas when you’ve tried everything you can think of?
LNL, I don’t want you to feel alone. Neither do I have a solution for the problem, as I’m still living it. Your story caught my eye because it’s nearly identical to mine except I’ve been living it longer. I’m 69, my wife is 64, and the “kid” is 39 and still living in his childhood room. Actually he left his room once about 8 years ago. He got married, had a kid and his wife send him back home after two years.
Seeing a therapist was never an option for us because I didn’t make enough money to pay for that and she refused to get a job because “a mother’s place is in the home with her kids.” I guess my solution is to live my life as I want, (as best I can) attempt to ignore what I don’t like, and make the best of it. I think I just re-wrote the alky’s prayer —-
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.
Her husband Jack was her car builder and wrench and they always had their son John, who is about the same age as my #1, with them
My comfort comes from the fact that at my age I’m closer to checking out time than I am to checking in time chappy profielen, or as we used to say in the army, I’m a short timer. As Dilbert told his mother once, I long for the comfort of the grave. Well —– not quite. My mother lived to 102 and I used to plan on 120 but a few years ago I discovered I inherited my fathers heart attack genes so I don’t think that’s realistic anymore. When I get together with my old racing partner and we reminisce about our lives, I realize I/we have done some amazing things in our lives. When I’m out with the old guys I hang with now in our rail cars, I feel alive and invigorated. So I’m not looking to take the dirt nap yet.
It began shortly after he was old enough to sit at the dinner table. He is our 2nd son and he’s all hers. I learned early on that I dare not interfere in his life in any way. I was a drag racer and his brother who is 4 years older, used to come with me. Most of us “older” guys with real dragsters brought the family along. I raced Shirley Muldowney for many years before she turned pro. When #2 was about 5 he wanted to come too. NO WAY.
